ADDICTIONS
THE ROLLER COASTER RIDE FROM HELL
By Synthia Esther
It didn't take long for me to realize the relationship I was in provided me with a one of a kind experience of turbulent up and down emotions. I have since nicknamed the psychological, mind-draining relationship; " The Roller Coaster Ride From Hell On Earth." I have ridden the roller coaster, gotten off and said good-bye to the amusement park. I admit, the ride looked like fun (it always does), with all the multi-colored bright lights and lively music. But when the lights go out and your left high in the sky sitting strapped, buckled and secured with a metal bar across your body, you feel captive sitting in the red, white, and blue metal painted seat with no padding. The night sky with all its hovering darkness looks frightening, vast and gloomy. The lively music is long gone with crickets, toads and night owls providing the background music to my lost in space, twilight zone disorientation.
I looked down suddenly realizing that I was all alone with no one manning the control panel to help bring me back down to the starting position. With my legs and feet cramped, I sat high, perched in mid-air wondering how and why this had happened to me? Horrified and in shock, I yelled and screamed in desperation for someone to help me, but no one was there to listen. As the long night played on... the looming silence prevailed.
With a weary voice, I said a prayer to God in the silence of the night while looking up into the midnight black and starry sky He created. It was at this moment I realized I had once again placed my loving Holy Father second in life. My tears were dried up and long gone, as I suddenly realized it was me who chose to ride the tall, huge and scary roller coaster. I had no one to blame but myself. It was me who paid the price of admission and bought the ticket. All because I thought it would be fun. For a brief time it was fun, now I know that was just a lure to get me involved in the circus ride.
Praying to God for forgiveness and help, the daylight broke and the sunlight began to shine as the man who managed the roller coaster control panel arrived for work. I yelled as loudly as I could, "Help, please... help, I need your help to get me down from here!" He finally looked up with squinted eyes and a grimacing smile shouting back, "Oh, I am so sorry, I didn't realize I left you up there all night. I'll make it up to you. You can ride for free the next time around!" Shaking my head and shouting "no", he turned the roller coaster on, and I finished the ride returning to the starting position.
With my feet planted firmly on solid ground I positively affirmed, "I don't like roller coasters very much after all. In fact, I never want to see or get on one again for the rest of my life!" He then smiled and in a whisper replied, "I learned a long time ago that I don't like them either, that's why I work the control panels that power them! But Missy you better be sure your making the right decision not to ride again, because there are a lot of women out there who would!" I shook my head in positive affirmation and boldly declared, "Oh, I'm sure!"
Reflecting on the learning experience, I realized God gave me back something I thought I lost during my roller coaster ride from hell. Hope in his providential grace, mercy and love to see me through. With renewed joy in my heart and a smile across my face, I asked directions to the nearest ladies room, never looking back, all the while hearing the power control managers rant of appeals for his next willing patron; " Come one, come all, to one of the greatest thrills on earth! Captivating, in-chanting pleasure, with the surprise of a lifetime! A ride you'll not soon forget, filled with allure, attraction and appeasement. Sure to titillate and tantalize your senses, we offer all the excitement and chaos you've ever dreamed of. Guaranteed, if not completely satisfied, you get to ride a second time for free!"
MORAL OF THE STORY:
An addict is always striving to control his life's roller coaster ride from hell. While his double life may come as a surprise, the outcome of pain and hardship never is. A co-dependent person may choose to ride the chaotic roller coaster a second, third, or forth time. A true lady never gets even, she says a prayer to God for his soul and simply walks away. Proverbs 20:22, Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the Lord, and He will deliver you. 1st Samuel 24:13, "As the old saying goes, 'From evil doers come evil deeds', so my hand will not touch you."
