ADDICTIONS

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SEX ADDICTION/ESCALATION WARNING SIGNS

By Synthia Esther

Troubled up-bringing, lack of nurture, attention, and demonstrated love
Feelings of isolation, emotionally detached from parents and family
Unstable parental role modeling: "Parents actions contradict their words"
As a child you experienced a disdaining lack of love when not measuring up to parental expectations of perfectionism
You learned to develop "The Mask Of Perfection" or became "The Golden Child" in order to feel any semblance of self worth, while inwardly experiencing an emotional hell on earth
Compartmentalization of emotions and relationships
At first displaying a very charming often charismatic personality, with a willingness to please. Always striving to be the best, above all the rest
Learned to not acknowledge needs, experiencing on-going hidden pain and depression, living behind the mask
Avoidance of rejection and abandonment
Inner rage due to lack of nurturing, affirmation, and early childhood abandonment-(emotionally and/or physically), detachment-bonding issues
Fear of trusting others
Manipulative, controlling, and deceptive motives and actions
Intense desire to control people, situations, and circumstances
Intense emotional struggle to control self
Chaotic life, mistaking intensity for intimacy in relationships
Often have transient jobs, or weekly out of town/state/country responsibilities
Believe attraction, attachment, sex, and attention makes you whole
Insatiable appetite and desire in addictive coping patterns of sex, love, attachment, needs, as well as other addictions such as drugs or alcohol
Disregulation of personal values, lifestyle, and choices
Using sex, relationships, and power games of sexual seduction and conquest to relieve pain, alter mood, achieve personal comfort, attention, affirmation, satisfaction, and/or feelings of self worthwhile
Driven, desperate, contriving, conniving, chaotic, frantic, and even vulnerable personality traits, whatever is needed to keep the relationship with another intact and cycling
Defines wants, desires, and personal conquests, to be needs
Defines chaotic lifestyle and emotional cycling as normal
Lives a secret double-life
Boundary confusion of sexual attraction with love
Intolerance of being alone, attempts to replace lost relationships with new ones as soon as possible
Attempts to attract the opposite sex are on going, and constant, always striving and seeking admiration, attention, and approval by any means possible
Escalating tolerance and behavior concerning sex (what was once considered repulsive, gradually becomes normal), often graduating from soft core pornography to rape, incest, bestiality, and serial killing
Attracted to the opposite sex like bees are to honey, or flies to manure, with radar sensitivity-despite being married or attached
Flirtatious and appeasing attitude (at first), once relationship is committed, sex addict becomes "bored", restless, desiring others while holding on with all strength to the one he/she's already committed to (when asked what he/she would do if you did the same...his/her reply is usually something to the effect, "Over my dead body")
Lack of conviction or conscience concerning using others for personal needs, desires, or addictive habits

BIBLICAL INSIGHTS

"If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth" - 1st John 1:6. "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter" - Issiah 5:20. "So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth" - Revelation 3:16.

READING RESOURCES

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