ADDICTIONS
FALLING FOR THE STEPFORD WOMAN
By Synthia Esther
She is the woman of your dreams, beautiful in every possible way. Luxurious hair, big almond shaped eyes with long eye lashes that flutter when she blinks. She is physically fit, has a curvaceous figure, and 36-D breast size. Her perfect posture eludes a confidence whenever she enters a room, yet she is unaware of her alluring beauty. Her face radiates a glowing medium width smile, that displays perfectly straight, white clean teeth. She speaks with a voice that is soft and breathy, though not sexual in the typical sense. Her sexual vision has eyes for only you, and her bodily responses and verbal reactions hang on every word you speak. She earnestly agrees with you on major life issues such as religion and church affiliation, education, political views, work ethics, personal ambition, activities, hobbies, food preferences, etc...
She seems like she was sent from God above, in direct response to your prayers for a soul mate and the $29.00 a month you spent on the dating site you met her on. She boasts of your accomplishments, intellect, laughs at your humor, and comment's on your muscular strength. You feel like a real man in her presence and are more assured of yourself each and every day you spend together. In your mind she seems like perfection and you thank-God everyday for having met her.
After a year of dating, you of course propose and she accepts. For a Stepford women you are the man she has dreamed of marring when she was just a little Stepford girl. You are her prince in shinning armor, the king of the castle and ruler in the family kingdom. It matters little that you are short in stature, you have a small pot belly and your physical strength is weak because you haven't worked out in years. Your job status and income are almost on the poverty welfare level and your armor (an Armani suit you borrowed from a friend who felt sorry for you), doesn't fit. It also matters little that the castle is a trailer and the kingdom a small piece of land that it sits upon. It only matters that you and she are together, married forever and ever.
After the quaint wedding and the honeymoon is over at the local Motel Six, the Stepford wife you love and cherish turns out to have a tiny little problem called "Borderline Personality Disorder." This was a tiny, insignificant, little issue that you failed to notice while dating because you were too enamored by her pleasant, sweet smile and all-accepting, validating, and encouraging personality. The Stepford wife's mental flaw was what attracted you to her in the first place. Looks can be deceiving and flattery can be fleeting as you learn who the Stepford wife you married really is. After all, the entire time you have known her she has done nothing but stroke your ego and fill your insecurities with affirmative affirmations.
As a young Stepford girl she had been trained to become what she thought you would accept and wanted her to be. Why? Because all borderline Stepford women know in their deepest depths of psychological thought processes and horrific insecurities concerning rejection and abandonment, that almost everyman and woman on God's green earth truly wants and desires someone who accepts and values them. A help mate in the eyes and mind of a Stepford hunting man simply means, "Just tell me how great I am, keep your weight down and you'll do just fine!"
The Stepford wife help mate was personally trained in her black and white splitting mental process, by her borderline Stepford wife mother. Now the wife you briefly cherished is suddenly replaced with a raging Tasmanian devil of a woman who offers what she calls discerning advice on everything you think, do, or say. You are devalued, critiqued, criticized, belittled, disrespected, abhorred, and admonished continually. Sad to say, truth is stranger than fiction, and life with a crazy and irrational Stepford wife is full of strife. Who is to blame? You are, for falling prey to flattery and not waiting on God to take care of your personal needs according to his divine purpose and plan.
Does the law of attraction really work? Of course it does! You attract what "you" allow yourself to believe, conceive, and achieve. Are you saying that I deserve this? I am saying when you follow your will and hearts desire instead of God's, Satan will always oblige and fill out your wish list. How can I escape this torturous abuse and mental dysfunction? You can divorce your borderline Stepford wife, sell the trailer and the lot it sits on in sunny Florida, and start a new life by moving to Alaska. If you don't like that answer you can do what you should have done in the first place. Ask God.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Jeremiah 17:7-8, But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. (8) He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.
INSIGHTFUL WORDS OF WISDOM
We deceive ourselves if we claim to want to hear God's voice but neglect the primary channel through which it comes - the Holy Bible.
REFERENCE ARTICLE BY SYNTHIA ESTHER
"THE SECRET LAW OF ATTRACTION - A FALSE REALITY OF A CONCEPTUAL MANNER"
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):
If you are suffering from a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self image, and affects. If you feel empty, full of self hate, self disgust, and hopeless, you could be suffering from BPD. This is a medical condition that is often shaped by past abuse, and harmful childhood experiences. Rage, anger, fear of abandonment, mood swings, stormy attachments, self injury, and impulsivity, among other personal struggles, is also commonly experienced. Medication therapy, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy, developed by Marsha M. Linehan, Ph.D., has been shown to offer significant improvement for those struggling and suffering from BPD.
With increased awareness and the capacity for self observation and introspection, the pervasive - rigid patterns, black and white thinking, and low anxiety threshold set earlier in life, can improve. It is through everyday life situations and circumstances that we truly learn to trust in God to lead us towards the realization that there is hope. I pray all who read the words I write will come to know that God truly does love you in the midst of your storm. Seek refuge and strength in the daily reading of his word to lead and guide you. We all have problems we strive to conquer. We all have parts of our personality that God gently urges us to face and ultimately change. To remain in denial refusing to face the reality in your life is like having eyes that cannot see (Psalm 115:5).
